Welcome back, Bachelorette Nation! We’re one proper episode in and ABC is up to their “to be continued” shenanigans again. I guess this should be expected, but it’s annoying none the less. We left off with DeMario coming back to the mansion to set things straight with Rachel and the men stirring at the chance to gallantly defend Rachel’s honor. We all know how this is about to play out, but it’s going to be fun to watch anyhow. Let’s dive in to the week 3 recap!
DeMario’s brief (clumsily-staged) return
As teased last episode, DeMario shows up to express his regret and to beg for a second chance. Rachel, at the behest of the producers, agrees to patiently let DeMario ramble through an apology and tell her all of the life lessons that he has learned over the last 8 hours. He tells Rachel that his favorite quote is,”In order to experience joy, you need pain”. Thanks to Google, I am able to inform you that this trite quote belongs to one of the great philosophers of our time, Jay-Z.
After DeMario tells Rachel that he talked all this through with his Uber driver (no seriously, he said this), Rachel makes it clear that she has 99 problems but he is, in fact, one. Just like that, he’s gone and we’re back to the rose ceremony. The guys are gushing at how Rachel is so here for the #rightreasons. Blake continues his on-air feud with Lucas which satisfies their entire reason for being on the show. This week, Lucas claims (while blackout drunk) that Blake stood over his bed eating bananas. Blake shuts this down with Rachel because he doesn’t eat carbs, so he couldn’t have possibly eaten a banana while standing over Lucas. I’m so over this but on the plus side, I learned that a “ketogenic diet” is a thing.
Roses are distributed and we say goodbye to Blake, Lucas (thank God) , and Jamey (who?). While the DeMario exchange was somewhat muted, Blake and Lucas’ joint exit interview got pretty heated. Blake called out Lucas for being a failed comedian and blamed him for getting dragged into the WhaBoom vortex. I think you lose all rights to your edit once you participate in two dating reality shows in under 18 months – sorry guys. Week 3 was plenty long enough for these bozos.
Group Date at the Ellen Show
Rachel and the guys head over to the Ellen show for the first group date. We start things off by Ellen having the guys take off their shirts and having them dance with the audience. Most of the guys’ moves are innocent enough – in spite of the singles being stuffed into their waistbands. One gentleman in particular though appears to have spent some time either professionally shaking it or watching a ton of “Magic Mike”. That man is Alex and he definitely had some moves. Rachel was into it up until he admits to Ellen to peeing in the Bachelor mansion pool. I have no idea how this came up but it did and I can’t unhear it.
We move on to the after party with some standard chit chat from the guys. Fred takes this opportunity to shed his image as the “bad kid” from the camp Rachel worked at. This doesn’t go so well. He asks Rachel if he can kiss her (ugh!) and then, according to Rachel, kisses her “like a little boy”. Poor Fred doesn’t make it to the end of the date – she sends him back to Dallas and gives the group date rose to Alex, the Russian amateur stripper/pool pee-pee-er.
Wrong Rodeo, Anthony
Anthony gets the coveted 1:1 date this week, and it starts off with he and Rachel horseback riding around Beverly Hills. They ride their horses into a store which appears to be some sort of bougie “western” outlet. Anthony is struck by how you can just ride horses into stores in Beverly Hills. You may be able to pull this off at “West”, but that shit wouldn’t fly at Bottega Veneta. They pick up some boots and hats before stopping at the *PAID ADVERTISING* Sprinkles ATM for some cupcakes. The shopping abruptly ends once the horses (predictably) start pooping all over the boutiques.
Rachel and Anthony retire to a scenic overlook to enjoy dinner and some light conversation. This has to be one of the weirdest/boring 1:1 dates we’ve ever seen. Anthony gets a rose, and wouldn’t you know it, but they stumble upon an Awkward Private Concert™.
Mud Wrestling for Love
The final group date of the week kicks off with some of Rachel’s friends (Raven, Corinne, Jasmine and Alexis) showing up / prepping for Bachelor in Paradise. The group gets on a bus and pulls up to a “saloon”. When they walk in, they find a wrestling ring with a mud pit in the middle. Kenny (the professional wrestler) lays waste to most of the guys until he runs out of gas and loses the final match to Bryce.
The evening gets started with Kenny letting Rachel know he used to be a Chippendale’s dancer (of course) and shows off some of his moves. Unlike Alex’s performance on the Ellen show, I don’t feel like I need to take a shower after watching. During Eric’s time with Rachel, he learns that Lee and Bryce let her know that they questioned his motives.
How casting directors (should) get fired
This is the beginning of Lee taking over the role of villain with Lucas now out of the picture. Lee is an unfortunate choice by ABC as it appears they actually cast a racist to date the first black Bachelorette. Check out some of his social media activity here. We poke fun at how lazy ABC’s marketing department is around here, but this is an unacceptable level of negligence. At the very least, you have to do some vetting. It’s clear they didn’t scroll down his (public) social media feeds , or they knowingly cast Lee with hopes he would create trouble.
Rachel gives Eric the group rose which essentially lights Lee’s fuse. Tensions begin to rise as the night drags on and we’re hit with another “to be continued”. Our fears are realized in the previews for next week as it appears Lee’s villainous ways begin to spark racial tension. I’m hopeful the producers let Rachel send Lee home next week as there is absolutely no need for this nonsense. Rachel deserves better – we all deserve better.
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