It’s the night we’ve all been waiting for – Rachel’s final rose. We’re starting the night with 3 suitors and by the end of the night, we’ll have a proposal. We can expect lots of purposeful walking and staring into the distance. Mix in some self-doubt and you have the Bachelorette finale. As an added bonus, Rachel is joining the live studio audience for 3 hours of play-by-play. I guess it’s fair to say things must have ended well – but let’s find out for ourselves in our finale recap!
Rachel is way into Peter
We pick up the action at the end of Peter’s date. The 2nd sentence out of Peter’s mouth is “what if I’m not ready to ask you to marry me”. Mayyyyybe not the thing to say to someone before walking into the fantasy suite. Rachel starts crying and explains to Peter that she’s had a “boyfriend” before but wants something more. Her emotions take over and I’m left wondering – has a Bachelorette telegraphed so overtly that she favors one contestant over the others in show history? Peter and Rachel agree that they could use the Fantasy Suite time to talk things through and at this point my eyes have rolled all the way back into my head.
The next morning, Peter peers out of a window with no obvious clothing on. He has a big grin on his face, so I guess their “talk” went well. He cooks Rachel eggs and basically makes everyone want to fast forward through Bryan’s date as fast as possible.
Finally time for Bryan
Bryan strolls up, pronounces the name of the town they’re in correctly and is clearly here to play. I’m a little uncomfortable with the number of buttons he has undone on his shirt, but we’re talking about The Make-out King.
After some horseback riding, they sit down to enjoy some wine in the vineyard. Things are off to a weird start and ABC mixing in some early soft piano music can’t be a good sign for Bryan.
The evening portion of the date begins with Bryan and Rachel sitting down to talk about the day. Bryan claims that he felt a different energy from Rachel. Blaming Rachel is probably not the best move but if we’re being honest, Rachel just got done “talking” with Peter all night. You’d be distracted too, Bry. The sexy cherry-on-top is Bryan telling Rachel that he felt down during their date.
Just before they enter the fantasy suite, Bryan tells Rachel that he loves her and will be with her forever. In this moment, you can feel Rachel thinking, “will you?” We get a quick scene of them in bed the next morning eating strawberries and by the time I collect myself, it’s time for the rose ceremony.
The First Rose Ceremony
Let’s cut to it, people – Bryan gets the first rose and I’m beside myself. In this moment, I actually have no idea who’s getting that 2nd rose. After a long pause, Peter’s name leaves Rachel’s mouth and the air finally leaves America’s lungs.
After the initial shock wears off, Eric and Rachel take a walk to have a private moment. Eric tells her about how much he’s grown and that he’ll always love her. It was a really class-act moment from a classy guy. We’re openly rooting for Eric and wish him the best! Could he be a future Bachelor?
Bryan’s Final Date
Bryan and Rachel meet in a field and Rachel lets him know that they’re going to see the area in a new way. As they walk together they see a hot air balloon waiting for them in the distance. Bryan admits to Rachel that he’s afraid of heights but this doesn’t stop him from trying to suck her face off mid-air. The Make-out King lives!
They wrap up their date with some alone time where Bryan makes his final pitch for that final rose. He gives her a personalized Spanish dictionary which is maybe the first genuinely nice thing he’s done all season. I’m totally serious – tell me another time, I’m waiting.
Peter’s Final Date
So, in one of the least veiled moves in series history, Rachel takes Peter to a church for their date. A friendly monk arrives to show them around the Abbey. During the tour, the Monk asks if they are getting married and what Peter thinking about marriage. Let’s just say, this is bit more of a serious date than the make-out sesh on a hot-air balloon.
Peter and Rachel chat outside a bit more about what they’re feeling and you can tell Rachel desperately just wants Peter to say he’s in love with her. When she asks what he’s thinking, he replies with “Love, life, and everything in between”. Even when he’s non-committal, he’s dreamy.
As we wrap up the date, Peter drops the bomb on Rachel that he’s not ready to propose if she chooses him tomorrow. He shares that he’s in love with her, but just isn’t 100% ready and it’s too new to him. In all honestly, as hard as this is to watch, it’s refreshingly honest. Peter has had, literally, what, 4 dates with Rachel over 7 or so weeks? It should have been at least sort of expected that someone would have a reasonable take on this process with what has to be the oldest and most mature cast in show history.
As they say goodbye, Peter tells Rachel that he loves her. In a bold break from protocol, Rachel tells Peter what we already knew – that she loves him too.
Peter and Rachel in studio – LIVE
Ok, what I haven’t talked about yet are any of the in-between segments with Rachel and Chris Harrison. Thus far, it’s been filler. But then Peter comes out and Chris starts referring to what we just saw as a “break-up”. Woah, woah, hold on. Anyone else feel like this was a massive curveball? We’re watching this for 5, 10, 15 minutes and Peter is still sitting there talking about regrets and their break-up. I refuse to believe that she picks Bryan until I see her accept a ring from him, but I’m getting more nervous by the minute. Either Peter and Rachel are outstanding actors or ABC legitimately pulled off “the most dramatic Bachelorette finale ever”. I think we’re all praying that Rachel pulls a “Mesnick” at this point but it’s not looking good.
Neil Lane Arrives for 14 seconds
No shit, it was like quick 3 cuts and boom – Bryan picks an ugly ring and Neil’s gone.
The Final Rose
Ok, whatever- at this point I’m hate watching the show. I’m pretty sure the crew threw this last segment together as fast as possible because they can’t believe Rachel is picking Bryan either. In a matter of 2 minutes, we went from Neil Lane, to limo, to Bryan arriving in front of Rachel. He tells Rachel that the first time he saw her, it was “like a chemistry bomb”. That’s not a saying, Bryan.
And just like that – Bryan wins. I’m not saying that Rachel had to pick Peter, but really? Bryan? I hope they are happy but wow. It’s going to take a bit to come down from this one. My thoughts are summed up in this tweet:
— FantazieSuite (@FantazieSuite) August 8, 2017
Well, I guess that’s all folks. I’m not sure this series has left me so empty at the end of a season like this season just has. Has anyone started a change.org petition to make Peter the Bachelor yet?
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