Welcome back, Bachelor Nation! We made it through our annual “Get the Bachelor back on a budget” episode and now it’s time to ball out in the city of lights. This week we’re finally going international with a trip to Paris so I’m fairly confident there will be no swamp dates. It seems like a perfect setting for more women to prematurely let Arie know that they are “falling in love” with him! Let’s find out what happens!
Welcome to Paris!
We open up this week with the women taking a boat ride on the Seine. Someone describes the boat as “very Parisian” and at this moment I’m guessing one of the dates will not be the group evaluating Impressionist art.
Chris Harrison arrives and lets the women know that we’ll get 4 dates this week (we better after last week!). The first date card is delivered and the Last Lauren Standing (Lauren B.) gets the first 1:1.
Last Lauren Standing
Arie and Lauren begin their date by riding a bougie speed boat together down the Seine, pretending to appreciate the sights. We all know that Arie is simply waiting for his opening to make out with her though.
After they get off the boat, Arie and Lauren begin what amounts to the most miserable looking stroll through Paris ever. He lets us know that he has a big crush on her but feels like they are missing something. Uh, ok?
The evening portion of the date begins with Arie commenting that there is “a lot of beauty” in Paris but it’s also really busy. Killer travel tips, Arie! Lauren lets him know that in the past she’s had trust issues with guys – not a crazy thing to say. Arie follows this up with a truly heartbreaking story of how his ex was pregnant but lost the baby and moved out while he was away. Ouch. But after a truly lame date and some major bummer discussion, Arie gives her a rose? Don’t get me wrong – Lauren seems really nice but there is absolutely no connection here.
The women arrive at this famous Moulin Rouge for their group date. Every season, there is a date where one of the women is way overqualified – this year it’s Seinne who has a background in dance. All of the women get dressed up in the requisite garb and there are varying levels of comfort with what is going on. Each Bachelorette takes a turn walking across the stage while Arie whispers his thoughts on each one to the dance coach. Ew.
The evening begins with Arie letting the women know the rose tonight has nothing to do with their day but rather on who he has the most connection with. Ok, Arie – get it but there are rules; this isn’t ‘Nam. After meeting with each of the women, Arie gives Bekah the rose and with that a co-starring role with Arie during a performance at the Moulin Rouge. Jenna’s face summed up all of Bachelor Nation’s feelings watching the two of them together.
Two on One – Krystal and Kendall
It’s that part of the season, folks! Time to pit two women against one another in a high-stakes date. The best part of these is when the loser gets left in some remote location. Kendall and Krystal get the 2:1 date and are taken to an estate in the French countryside.
After beginning the date by hiding in a topiary maze and making the women find him, Arie pulls each women aside to have a serious conversation. Krystal goes first and Arie spends this time to tell her that she should he spoken up if she wasn’t feeling comfortable. He also keeps playing with her hair until the right moment to make out with her. After some loud kissing (thanks for the hot mix on the kiss mic, ABC) Krystal makes a fatal error. It’s clear she’s never seen this show (or read this blog) and tells Arie that Kendall isn’t ready to get married. Trashing another woman during a 2:1 is basically a death wish.
Arie asks Kendall about this and after their time together, Kendall goes back to confront Krystal. For how big of a jerk-move this was, Kendall actually tries to show empathy to Krystal. Either that or it was a failed exorcism. It’s entirely possible she was trying to break Krystal and add her to her taxidermy collection but we’ll go with empathy for now. Arie comes back to tell the women that he’s not ready to give out the rose so they’ll be continuing the 2:1 date into the evening back in Paris.
An evening in Paris
After more awkward conversation with Kendall and Krystal, the one thing that is clear is that Kendall is an absolute saint. I mean, if you’ve been following along on Twitter, you’ll know that everyone from the cast openly hates on Krystal. With the cameras rolling and I’m sure the producers not encouraging kindness, Kendall was nothing short of graceful in dealing with someone who it seems isn’t just getting a “bad edit” . Arie gives Kendall the rose and we’re subjected to an extended cut of Krystal complaining to the camera. At this moment it’s clear that he was never going to give out the rose in the countryside as it was a better tableau to have Krystal stranded in view of the Eiffel tower (so we can pretend that they can see him making out with the other woman!!!).
Jacqueline’s 1:1 date
The date opens with Arie picking up Jacqueline in an old, sports car. In seconds, their car breaks down. At first I thought this was another reminder that he used to race cars and can fix stuff but it appears their car legitimately broke down and maybe wasn’t planned.
The first part of their date is essentially Arie telling Jacqueline that she needs to dress nicer and giving her the “Pretty Woman” experience at a boutique. The evening is dominated by insecurity which is not exactly fun television. For about 5 minutes, I was basically just waiting for Arie to send her home. After a long discussion of why they aren’t good for each other – reason after reason – he offers her a rose. I give up trying to understand this guy, people.
The Rose Ceremony
In a quick ceremony, Arie thins the field by letting Chelsea and Jenna go. These two started out slow but really added a lot to the season. We get some weird footage of Lauren complaining about watching other women go on dates with Arie (again, do they not know what they are signing up for?) and then we see more future scenes that are basically just crying and nondescript drama. It should be a good end to this season!
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