Welcome back, Bachelorette Nation! This week, the gang jumps on a $49 Southwest flight from LAX to Vegas to “continue their journey”. Also, when ABC gets a sponsor for this show, boy is it on the nose. This week, “The Bachelorette” is brought to you by the Las Vegas Tourism Board and the Aria Hotel and Casino! Things get weird – let’s jump in.
Colton’s 1:1 – Camels?
Matt: We arrive in Vegas and get a quick tour of the Aria. It’s a beautiful place and we’re in Vegas so there’s all kinds of stuff to do. What does ABC line up for us? Camels and a random hot tub in the desert. Uh, what? I’m beginning to think this is a “get the show back on budget” week. Basically nothing happened while riding animals that are not native to Nevada. I don’t really think Colton likes Becca if I’m being honest – but he’ll probably stick around for a while given who she has on the roster.
Ryan: Colton’s “kind of, sort of, not really starting to have feelings that might someday resemble falling in love” was masterful. Check it out: “For me, being in love has confusion and pain associated with it… and I don’t want you to think just because I’ve only been in love once, that it’s in any way like a bad thing… and for me the word love to me, means so much, just because it’s only happened once and I hold it so high that I don’t just throw it out there, and I don’t use even falling in love lightly, and I want you to know that.”
Group Date – Wayne Newton
Ryan: I don’t know what’s more depressing, the way Wayne Newton looks, or the five minutes I spent reading about Wayne Newton’s ongoing financial and legal woes.
Matt: At the very least, Wayne Newton is a Las Vegas institution. The date was kind of odd but in the most Bachelorette way possible – making the guys write lyrics to the tune of “Danke Schoen” and then singing to Becca in front of about 100 extras.
Ryan: After the date, Blake prefaced his still waaaaay too early “I’m falling in love with you” by saying that Jean Blanc had stolen something from Becca, and she deserved better. Because everyone deserves to be told “I’m falling in love with you” by one of the guys she kind of doesn’t mind having around while on a group date with several other dudes whose name she barely remembers. It’s a special time for every girl.
The 2:1 we saw a mile away
Matt: This date was unbelievably forced from the jump. David, our #rightreasons warrior and Jordan the over-the-top male model. This was always the 2:1 but unfortunately for Becca/everyone watching, there was no way either of these guys were long for this world. I especially liked when Becca implored the guys to enjoy the silence of the desert and David couldn’t shut up about how quiet it was! These f’in guys, man.
Ryan: That two on one between David and Jordan seemed kind of perfunctory, didn’t it? It was obvious from week 2 that these two would be the 2:1 guys, Becca clearly wasn’t into either of them, and I have no idea quite why they didn’t get along. They were just brought out into the desert and told to talk shit about and to each other. I mean, I smiled when Jordan told David that lacked his own personality (?), but I’m not looking forward to seeing either of them on Paradise (and they’re both going to be there)
Matt: I know you hate Jordan, but come on- tell me you weren’t rooting for him during that 2:1. David’s act got old and boring and Jordan is still good television if nothing else. Jordan telling Becca that he “wishes he had his portfolio with him” was everything. Unfortunately, he didn’t get a rose either but I’d like to take this moment to thank ABC for giving us a villain who was fun this season.
The Emotional Roller Coaster that is Chris
Matt: Chris has always been a bit of a wildcard to me – he seems like he could stick around then acts completely insane. This week was nothing short of manic as he rode some incredible highs due to his own perceived song-writing skills and truly low lows when Becca didn’t throw herself at him and he decided he might as well go home. The mania continued into the cocktail party where he met with Becca over and over to “make things right”. Really enjoyed watching Wills have none of his “can I steal her for a minute” BS.
Ryan: Huge points to Wills this week for standing his ground against Chris. Loved him.
Matt: Too bad we said goodbye to John and not Chris but I guess the producers needed a story line for Week 6…
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