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The Bachelor Bio Analysis: Season 22 – Arie’s Suitors

The Bachelor Bio Analysis: Season 22 – Arie’s Suitors

Janu-Arie is almost upon us! Our overlords at ABC have delivered an early Christmas present to us with the release of Arie’s 29 suitors’ bios. I want to dive into the bios, but first, let’s talk about the choice of bachelor… Arie, 36, Former Race Car Driver, Scottsdale, AZ We here at the Fantazie Suite like how the previous season has kind of become the default farm team, but it’s surprising that there wasn’t a future Bachelor lurking around in Rachel’s…

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Bachelor in Paradise: Episode 5 & 6 Recap

Bachelor in Paradise: Episode 5 & 6 Recap

Clearly this has turned into homework and the hate-watch is in full effect. I mean, noooooooothing is happening, AMIRITE? Anyhow, the executive decision has been made to combine these recaps, wrap this up and begin prepping to watch Arie on the next season of “The Bachelor”. Let’s dive in. Scallop Fingers arrives Another outcast from Nick V’s season, Christen shows up to stir things up in Paradise. She does the typical talk to all the guys and figure out who…

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Bachelor in Paradise: Episode 4 Recap

Bachelor in Paradise: Episode 4 Recap

As you can tell, I’m spreading this out longer than ABC decided to. Trying to cram 18 hours of content into 5 weeks is downright cruel. This is especially true given how downright unwatchable 90% of this season of Bachelor in Paradise has been so far. Anyhow – I’ll be finishing the season over the next couple of weeks, and for anyone who also has a backlog on their DVR, I’ll be doing the lord’s work for you – trust…

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Bachelor in Paradise: Episode 3 Recap

Bachelor in Paradise: Episode 3 Recap

Welcome back, Bachelor Nation! Boy oh boy, this schedule is clearly taking a toll on me but fear not, we’re going to push through! Luckily, if we’re being honest, not that much is happening so I should be able to fill everyone in if you don’t have 4 hours a week to dedicate to this. Welcome back, Adam (And Adam Jr) We get the episode started with Adam arriving in paradise and within 5 minutes, he’s already said more words…

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BACHELOR IN PARADISE: EPISODE 2 RECAP – Post Shutdown

BACHELOR IN PARADISE: EPISODE 2 RECAP – Post Shutdown

Welcome back, Bachelor Nation! If you made it through the first episode, I think you have what it takes to muscle through this season of BIP. After night 1’s dramatic shut down, tonight is going to be split between the Evan and Carly nuptials  and “a conversation about consent” aka a total CYA by ABC. Don’t worry though, we find moments of levity throughout and hopefully can save you some time that I’ll never get back.

Bachelor in Paradise: Episode 1 Recap

Bachelor in Paradise: Episode 1 Recap

Before you say anything, yes, this is like 2 weeks late. After Rachel’s 3 hour slog to settling, we here at The Fantazie Suite were in no mental state to write anything funny about Bachelor in Paradise AKA BIP. I’m happy to report that after some time away, we’re ready to jump back in. Since BIP is a bit of a bastardized version of Bachelor, our recaps will likely follow suit and be a bit less formal. In terms of…

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The Bachelorette Episode 11 Recap – The Final Rose

The Bachelorette Episode 11 Recap – The Final Rose

It’s the night we’ve all been waiting for – Rachel’s final rose. We’re starting the night with 3 suitors and by the end of the night, we’ll have a proposal. We can expect lots of purposeful walking and staring into the distance. Mix in some self-doubt and you have the Bachelorette finale. As an added bonus, Rachel is joining the live studio audience for 3 hours of play-by-play. I guess it’s fair to say things must have ended well –…

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The Bachelorette Episode 10 Recap – Men Tell All

The Bachelorette Episode 10 Recap – Men Tell All

It’s Men Tell All week, everyone! This is also known as the episode where a bunch of dudes you cared about like 6 weeks ago come back and talk about stuff you realize you already forgot happened. I always have really high hopes but am usually let down – will this season be different?

The Bachelorette Episode 9 Recap: The Fantasy Suites

The Bachelorette Episode 9 Recap: The Fantasy Suites

Welcome back, Bachelorette Nation! After a series of emotional hometown dates (and one that totally shouldn’t have even happened *cough* Dean *cough*), we’re down to our final 3 – Peter, Bryan “The Makeout King”, and Eric. This is historically the “Fantasy Suite” episode, so you know we’re fired up. Let’s just pray there are no yurts this time around.

The Bachelorette Episode 8 Recap: Hometowns!

The Bachelorette Episode 8 Recap: Hometowns!

Welcome back Bachelorette Nation! Rachel finally got a chance to meet Matt and Adam last week and as a result of  we have our final four – aka “Hometowns”. There is sure to be drama, disapproving parents, some tears and perhaps gong meditation? Hometowns are already awesome but this season’s appear to be extra special – let’s get to the action!