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The Bachelor Bio Analysis: Season 22 – Arie’s Suitors

The Bachelor Bio Analysis: Season 22 – Arie’s Suitors

Janu-Arie is almost upon us! Our overlords at ABC have delivered an early Christmas present to us with the release of Arie’s 29 suitors’ bios. I want to dive into the bios, but first, let’s talk about the choice of bachelor… Arie, 36, Former Race Car Driver, Scottsdale, AZ We here at the Fantazie Suite like how the previous season has kind of become the default farm team, but it’s surprising that there wasn’t a future Bachelor lurking around in Rachel’s…

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Bachelor in Paradise: Episode 5 & 6 Recap

Bachelor in Paradise: Episode 5 & 6 Recap

Clearly this has turned into homework and the hate-watch is in full effect. I mean, noooooooothing is happening, AMIRITE? Anyhow, the executive decision has been made to combine these recaps, wrap this up and begin prepping to watch Arie on the next season of “The Bachelor”. Let’s dive in. Scallop Fingers arrives Another outcast from Nick V’s season, Christen shows up to stir things up in Paradise. She does the typical talk to all the guys and figure out who…

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Bachelor in Paradise: Episode 3 Recap

Bachelor in Paradise: Episode 3 Recap

Welcome back, Bachelor Nation! Boy oh boy, this schedule is clearly taking a toll on me but fear not, we’re going to push through! Luckily, if we’re being honest, not that much is happening so I should be able to fill everyone in if you don’t have 4 hours a week to dedicate to this. Welcome back, Adam (And Adam Jr) We get the episode started with Adam arriving in paradise and within 5 minutes, he’s already said more words…

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The Bachelorette Episode 9 Recap: The Fantasy Suites

The Bachelorette Episode 9 Recap: The Fantasy Suites

Welcome back, Bachelorette Nation! After a series of emotional hometown dates (and one that totally shouldn’t have even happened *cough* Dean *cough*), we’re down to our final 3 – Peter, Bryan “The Makeout King”, and Eric. This is historically the “Fantasy Suite” episode, so you know we’re fired up. Let’s just pray there are no yurts this time around.

The Bachelorette Week 5 Recap Part 1: Norway

The Bachelorette Week 5 Recap Part 1: Norway

Welcome back, Bachelorette Nation! After being left with another (nauseatingly trite)”to be continued”, we’re back to pick up the action in South Carolina. It’s a “2-night event”, so let’s not waste time and dive right into our recap.

Bachelorette Fantasy League Week 3 Predictions – Mud and Rodeos

Bachelorette Fantasy League Week 3 Predictions – Mud and Rodeos

In case you’ve been attending an exclusive dogs-only party, ABC is hosting a weekly Bachelorette Fantasy League, where you can try to best your friends and neighbors each week by guessing what ridiculous phrases will come out of Whaboom’s mouth. The Fantazie Suite has a group you can join here, and every week we’ll be helping you make your choices. Welcome to Week 3, Bachelor Nation! Last week saw a home economics relay race, a Kareem Abdul-Jabbar 180, and an…

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WhaBoom: The Case Against Lucas -The Bachelorette Bonus

WhaBoom: The Case Against Lucas -The Bachelorette Bonus

I initially was going to include this in our Week 2 recap, but after thinking about it, it felt like something that deserved it’s own post. We have had contestants play the villain every season. Lucas’ brand of villain is different though. He’s all about his brand and essentially has nothing to talk about with Rachel aside from how much “whaboom” is inside him. Having him on the show hurts the (wait for it) integrity of the program. This doesn’t need to be high…

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Bachelorette Fantasy League Week 1 Predictions – Let’s do this!

Bachelorette Fantasy League Week 1 Predictions – Let’s do this!

Just like last season with Nick, ABC is hosting a weekly Fantasy League, where you can try to best your friends and neighbors each week by guessing whether or not Rachel is going to start the “passionate kissing” on night one. The Fantazie Suite has a group you can join here, and every week we’ll be helping you make your choices. Welcome back to the Fantazie Suite, Bachelor Nation! It seems like only yesterday we were trying to read the…

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The Bachelorette Bio Analysis; we’re both excited and terrified for Rachel

The Bachelorette Bio Analysis; we’re both excited and terrified for Rachel

Holy crap, the season is almost here!!! I have to admit, I’m a little upset at Chris Harrison that he made us wait until only five days out to see the Bachelor Bios. But I can forgive our benevolent, rose-bestowing overlord, as he’s given us a fine crop of Tickle Monsters, Denzel Washington admirers, and dudes with tattoos in strange places this season.  Let’s meet Rachel’s 31 suitors! Adam, 27, a real estate agent from Dallas, TX This preview of the first…

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The Bachelorette Season 13 Preview: Rachel Lindsay

The Bachelorette Season 13 Preview: Rachel Lindsay

Welcome back, #BacheloretteNation (and loyal members of #FantazieSuiteNation). It’s been a couple of weeks since we last saw Nick and Vanessa making poor choices together on primetime TV. Side note, if Ben and Lauren B can’t make it work – I’m pretty sure Nick Viall and Vanessa Grimaldi will be broken up by Labor Day. Side-Side Note, Vanessa made sure that her mug got on camera for every damn week Nick was on DWTS, so anybody who watched that hasn’t had…

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