In case you’ve been trapped under something large, ABC is hosting a weekly Fantasy League, where you can try to best your friends and neighbors by guessing what WON’T be on a date card this week. The Fantazie Suite has a group you can join here, and every week we’ll be helping you make your choices.
Everybody! Yeaaaaaaaaah. The Fantazie Suite is back with another round of predictions to help you win, in both your Bachelor Fantasy League, and in life. Alright!
Official Propositions for Week 3
The Backstreet Boys visit the mansion this week! What hint do they give the Bachelorettes about an upcoming date? ‘Hope you’re not afraid to fly!’ ‘Don’t wear makeup.’ ‘No heels.’ ‘Crying isn’t allowed.’
Analysis: AJ, Nick, Howie D, Brian, and Kevin are professionals. ABC isn’t bringing in some third-rate Lachey brother with platitudes about courage. They know how proper tears can add to a performance, and they aren’t strangers to the proper application of stage effects. But above all, BSB are practical. Don’t come on their stage unless you’re prepared to dance. And that means sensible footwear.
Bet: No heels.
Instead of a traditional cocktail party, Nick opts for which of the following? Pizza party, Ugly sweater party, Masquerade party, Pool party
Analysis: Maybe Wisconsin Nick would choose a pizza party. But L.A. Nick isn’t a carbs guy, and protein powder doesn’t make for a great pizza topping. A masquerade party might be an option (possible tie-in with 50 Shades Darker?), but when in doubt, choose the option that puts as many people in bikinis as possible.
Bet: It’s a pool party. It’s always a pool party.
TRUE OR FALSE: Someone will throw up on a date with Nick.
Analysis: We know from the “This Season On…” trailer that there is definitely a date at some point this season that involves Nick kissing a random brunette (Vanessa?) on a zero-g plane ride. Zero Gravity Corporation offers these rides (called parabolic flights) out of Los Angeles for a mere $4950 (plus tax). Consider that parabolic flights do this:
…and then this:
There’s a reason they call this ride the “vomit comet.” They might have to tag this episode as “Not for emetophobes.” Sorry, Vanessa.
Fake but Fun:
TRUE or FALSE: Liz will be mentioned beyond the first hour of next week’s episode.
Analysis: The cliffhanger we were left with was Liz walking out of the abandoned tourist trap of Hollywood and Highland, while Nick went to break the news to the rest of the group date that he had previously known her biblically, as Christen might phrase it (this being a family-friendly Monday night show, after all). The trailer for the upcoming episode was nothing but tears. But to keep Nick a “good guy,” the producers need to swerve out of this storyline quickly. He’ll use the opportunity of giving Liz the boot as a way to show the rest of the Bachelorettes that he’s here for the #rightreasons. Everyone will cry momentarily, and the season can continue as if the producers never pulled this stunt.
What will be the name of Corinne’s inevitable sex tape? “You’re going to make your friends feel weird.” “Many ways and angles.” “My dad would be proud, even though I was naked.” “She Re-interrupted me!”
Analysis: All of these are things that Corinne, arch-villain of the season now that Liz is gone, actually said on Monday. Her dad would be proud, indeed.
Bet: We could see a whole series of Re-interruptions.
How will one of the Bachelorettes refer to the Backstreet Boys: “Old School,” “Classic,” or “My mom’s favorite boy band.”
Analysis: Here’s a fun fact that will make you feel old: “Everybody (Backstreet’s Back)” came out in 1997, when Hailey and Alexis were three. In fact, none of these contestants were much older than Alexis’s surgically-enhanced lady lumps are now when Brian first implored us to quit playin’ games with his heart.
Bet: Old School
TRUE or FALSE Corinne is here to make friends.
Analysis: Come on, Bachelor Nation.