The Bachelorette Recap Week 5 Part 2 – Let the Bodies Hit the Floor

The Bachelorette Recap Week 5 Part 2 – Let the Bodies Hit the Floor

Welcome to a rare Tuesday night Bachelorette episode, Nation!  Well, actually Wednesday morning. You see, some of us at the Fantazie Suite live in Chicago, and ABC had the rights to the Cubs game last night.

Bachelorette Harrison Rachel

The Cubs didn’t even have the decency to win. Anyway, we got up early, took a trip to Dunkin, and caught up on Rachel’s second week in Europe.

And boy, what a week it was. Even taking into account the two rose ceremonies, Tuesday’s episode was an absolute bloodletting, with six guys packing their bags and heading back stateside. Let’s get into it.

Snakes in the grass

We opened the episode where ABC always starts us: five minutes before they dropped a “To Be Continued…” on the last episode. Rachel told us again that she was going to give a rose to the guy she trusts, and that’s definitely not Lee. While Rachel waited in the helicopter with a rose…

Bachelorette Rachel Helicopter

Kenny couldn’t resist yelling and pointing at Lee one more time. Rachel eventually took Kenny back to her room, where he assured her of his emotional availability, and she gave him the date rose, along with the most chaste kiss on the mouth we’ve seen this season. Kenny went back to his room and made everybody cry while he FaceTimed his daughter. Can’t we just let this guy go home to be with her? (Well, actually we can, but we’ll get to that later.) Mercifully, we say goodbye to Lee.

At Losby Gods Manor

Our first Rose Ceremony of the night said goodbye to Anthony, nothing if not the strong, silent type (go Northwestern football!), and Josiah, who won the award for least self-aware dude of the night. Josiah, last seen talking over Rachel as she told him to listen to her more, assures us that there would have to be “something wrong with her brain” if Rachel sent him home.

Bachelorette Josiah Rachel

Boy, bye.

Welcome to Denmark!!!

Bachelorette Denmark

As it turns out, Rachel was far from done; we had two more countries to visit (and three more guys to send home) before the night was through. First up, a “local flavor” date in Copenhagen with Eric. They danced on a dock, walked the streets of Copenhagen, got into a hot tub by the shore, and went to Tivoli Gardens, a 19-century amusement park. It all looked lovely, even with the random naked man sitting in the next hot tub. Eric opened up and told Rachel that he never felt loved by his mother, which has kept him from loving others as an adult. Good for you, Eric. For that semi-confession, you get a date rose! Moving on.

Viking Games

If the local flavor date is the most time-honored tradition in Bachelorette Nation, dressing up in silly costumes has to be a close second. And if you’re in Scandinavia, somebody had better put on a Viking helmet before the week is out. We were not disappointed.

The group date went to Roskilde and learned about Vikings from Tom and Morton. Then the dudes all put on Viking gear and played such fearsome games as “hold onto a greased stick”, “push guys out of the circle with your butt”, and of course “hop around on one leg for some reason”. In the final game, Kenny and Adam both drew blood while smashing their shields against each other. Kenny pushed Adam out of the circle and was named “Best Viking”.

Bachelorette Kenny Viking

But the week has taken a toll on Kenny. Between the Lee drama, the Viking trials, and FaceTiming with his daughter, he’s had enough. He and Rachel sit down, realize that neither of them are in the relationship as deeply as they would need to be to take it seriously, and part ways. Good for you, Kenny. We wish you the best.

Rachel gives Peter the group date rose, mostly to make up for the fact that she didn’t give him a rose on his last group date when the two of them got handsy in the hot tub.

Will I Remember You at Men Tell All?

The last date of the episode was a 1:1 with Will. They took a quick jaunt across the North Sea to Sweden where they ate pastries and helped an elderly couple practice their English. Then they came back to Copenhagen for dinner at a Carlsberg museum. It was a less-interesting version of Eric’s date, which makes sense, because Will seems to be a less-interesting version of Eric. He didn’t open up much, beyond letting us know that he had a tendency to date white women in the past, and there was a severe lack of chemistry between him and Rachel. She sent him packing too.

Another Rose Ceremony?

For the first time since week one, ABC actually ended an episode with a Rose Ceremony! Bryan and Dean were always going to move past this week, but we were a bit surprised to see both Adam and Matt get roses over Alex. Seriously, looking back on the initial group of thirty guys, how on earth did the guy with a puppet and the guy in the penguin onesie end up in the top six? Matt got more screentime this week than he had all season, and he still didn’t say as much as Kenny’s daughter. We’re baffled.

Bachelorette Matt

Check back with us next week, when our television isn’t taken over by sportsball, and we only have one episode of Rachel’s journey to cover. We might even get a recap up before noon!

  • Check out our #rightreasons t-shirt on Amazon HERE
  • Check out our Week 5 Part 1 recap HERE
  • Be sure to join us for live BachChat and to follow along on Facebook and Twitter!
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