In case you’ve been busy rebelling against tyranny, ABC is hosting a weekly Bachelorette Fantasy League, where you can try to best your friends and neighbors each week by guessing what gift Rachel buys Bryan. The Fantazie Suite has a group you can join here, and every week we’ll be helping you make your choices.
Welcome back, Bachelor Nation! We here at the Fantazie Suite were happy to take last week off to recover from the Kenny-and-Lee two-night extravaganza. This is the week when Rachel gets serious and makes the hard decisions, if the sneak peek videos are to be believed. We hope that you’re all at the top of your leaderboards, and that your final four make it through to hometowns. Let’s see what we’re working with this week, according to TV Guide:
“Rachel and the six remaining bachelors visit Geneva, Switzerland, where roses are handed out on three individual dates and one group date. Rachel takes Bryan shopping and Peter on a helicopter flight over the Swiss Alps. Adam, Eric and Matt go on a boat ride to a stunning castle where they try to win Rachel’s favor.”
Real Bets Provided by ABC:
Rachel gifts which expensive item to one lucky Bachelor? A watch, Cufflinks, A leather briefcase, A designer suit
Analysis: This is a fun new tradition: women in the Bachelor/ette world taking their man on fancy shopping trips. Corinne did it last season with Nick, and now Rachel’s buying Bryan’s love and affection in Geneva. This has to be a watch, right? A suit is boring, cufflinks are too specific, and a leather briefcase is what you buy law school graduates (thanks, West Wing!). But a watch is so, so Swiss. We know that it’s is a pretty intimate gift for someone you’re only dating on a reality show, but it makes the most sense.
Bet: A watch
TRUE OR FALSE: A bachelor will take a dip in a hot tub with Rachel in this episode.
Analysis: Who even knows? Rachel took Peter up to her room for some hot tubbing in the middle of a group date, so we guess hot tubs can happen at any time at this point in the season. There are no rules! The Fantazie Suite is done trying to make sense of who gets in a hot tub and when.
Bet: True. Why not?
How many 1-on-1 dates will Rachel go on this week? 1, 2, 3, 4
Analysis: TV Guide told us all we need to know here. Bryan, Peter, and Dean all get their own dates.
TRUE OR FALSE: Rachel will send a bachelor home during a 1-on-1 date.
Analysis: Between those three guys, Peter and Bryan seem to be shoe-ins for hometowns, so Dean’s the obvious outlier. And in this video sneak peek, it’s obvious that Dean’s date does not go well. Rachel indicates that 1:1 time should be used to ask questions, and Dean responds with, “Are you gonna… do you believe in the Tooth Fairy?” He follows that with “What’s your favorite dinosaur?” and “You’re really pretty.” It looks like the date is going to play into the narrative that Dean is young and can’t get serious in the way that Rachel wants him to.
But the video promos are almost always fake-outs, aren’t they? We see this conversation, they’ll cut to a commercial, and when they come back, Dean will be able to get real after all (cue the gentle romantic guitar). As a matter of fact, Dean is shown having a conversation with Rachel in two different outfits:
He’ll make it out of his 1:1 date.
One bachelor and Rachel do which of the following activities in the Swiss Alps? Skiing, Snowboarding, Dog sledding, Mountain Climbing
Analysis: Hey look, it’s Peter and Rachel dog sledding!
A clip of this showed up in the extended “This Season On…” video night one, so we’ve been expecting this for a while.
Bet: Dog Sledding. Copper’s going to be so jealous.
Which bachelor receives the first rose this week, securing him a hometown date?
Analysis: The week before hometowns tends to be the week where they give a rose during the group date, but not during the 1:1 dates. That way, there’s more tension during the rose ceremony. Keep that in mind, and go down two hypothetical paths with us:
The final four will be Bryan, Dean, Peter, and Eric. If that’s true, Eric gets the rose on the group date and the rose ceremony has no drama whatsoever, as Matt and Adam go home.
The final four will be Bryan, Peter, Eric and Matt. If that’s the case, ABC would need to spend time building up Rachel’s onscreen time with Matt, because we haven’t learned much of anything about him this season. Matt will get the group date rose, and we get the tension of wondering whether Eric or Dean will get that fourth hometown rose.
Bet: Matt. ABC likes drama.
Fake, but fun bets:
TRUE or FALSE: Matt has been on The Bachelorette all season long.
Analysis: Matt was around during the first night as the guy in a penguin suit. But after that, he wasn’t shown speaking to Rachel until they made it to Europe. He has literally been a black hole on our TV screens every Monday since Memorial Day.
Bet: FALSE. He probably ducked out for at least a week or two in the middle.
Why is Rachel crying? One of the guys did it, Adam Jr. did it, She’s doing it to herself, She just loves dogs that much
Analysis: One episode every season is “The Crying Episode,” where the Bachelor/ette spends an uncomfortable amount of time in tears. Sometimes, it’s the pressure of having to say goodbye to someone who has potential. Sometimes, it’s because your number one choice left the show voluntarily.
Sometimes, it’s the pressure of having to give a hometown to someone who doesn’t deserve it [cough thisseason cough]. The video promo for this week shows her crying at least three different times, while the guys say things like: “I blame myself for that,” “She’s in a thunderstorm,” and “You’re closing yourself off.” All of those statements make it sound like Rachel’s feeling the pressure as the season nears its conclusion. We think all of this crying is self-induced, and not the result of one of the guys doing something drastic.
Bet: She’s doing it to herself. Take it easy, Rachel. We love you, even if these guys don’t deserve you.
When your significant other wants to have a serious conversation, what should you lead with: “Do you believe in the tooth fairy?”; “What’s your favorite dinosaur?”; “You’re really pretty.”; literally ANYTHING else.
Analysis: Dean, buddy. Come on.
Bet: Literally ANYTHING else.
- Check out our “Rosé over Roses” t-shirt on Amazon HERE
- Check out our Week 5 Part 1 and 2 recaps HERE – pt1 and HERE – pt2
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