Welcome back, Bachelor Nation! If you made it through the first episode, I think you have what it takes to muscle through this season of BIP. After night 1’s dramatic shut down, tonight is going to be split between the Evan and Carly nuptials  and “a conversation about consent” aka a total CYA by ABC. Don’t worry though, we find moments of levity throughout and hopefully can save you some time that I’ll never get back.

Evan and Carly

To be honest, this was something I had zero expectations for coming into the evening. In the spirit of not burying the lead, it may end up being the highlight of the season for me. Let me explain.

Carly was someone that made it pretty far with Chris Soules but was elimated just before hometowns. Clearly she dodged a bullet and didn’t have to ensure a sub-zero barn proposal. She came back to Bachelor in Paradise and met Evan. Evan is probably best known from JoJo’s season as being the squirrelly guy who, for lord knows why, decided to take up the cause of battling Chad, the roid-rage guy. The only thing I can really remember about Evan is that he was adamant about Chad reimbursing him for a v-neck t-shirt that he ripped.

The Wedding

Evan Carly Bachelor in Paradise Wedding Episode 2

So anyhow, we start off with a montage of Evan and Carly’s relationship that can only be described as watching Evan wear Carly down. He really reminded me of George McFly from “Back to the Future”. Unfortunately he did not say that Carly was “his density” at any point. This is followed by a montage of other Bachelor weddings – thank god for DVR – I super didn’t care about that.

We finally get to the wedding and honestly, it’s really nice. They seem to genuinely love each other for who they are and for those of you who are loyal readers, you know I don’t throw this around lightly. Evan, being the weirdo that he is, did say he would “never stop exploring [Carly]” during the vows which made me dry heave. That being said, it was a great moment and I truly wish them (and their baby girl who is on the way) the best.

Evan Carly Bachelor in Paradise Wedding Episode 2

Wedding bonus – seeing Nick and Vanessa looking absolutely miserable together. In the least surprising news story of last week, it was announced that they are calling it quits. All I’m saying is, we nailed that prediction.

Nick Vanessa Evan Wedding breakup
The Look of Love

An awkward chat with Chris Harrison after the shutdown

ABC (rightfully) spent a lot of time on this coming back from the production shutdown. It probably wasn’t handled perfectly but it’s an important topic to be brought into a show that literally features an open bar 24/7. We do a little round robin of the cast talking about how they feel. Alex volunteers that the producers don’t manipulate him at all (bless your heart). Taylor lies to America when she tells us that people come up to her and tell her how much they admire her character.

Everyone agrees that they want to be there to find love which is followed by Chris Harrison quizzing the cast on what “consent” means. In a particularly cringe-worthy moment, it’s offered up (by Diggy?) that when you drink, it’s important that you do things you would do when you’re sober – but he definitely has made some mistakes. Now that we had a long discussion about doing the right thing – it’s time to do some shots and look for love again.

Consent Bachelor in Paradise Episode 2

Amanda literally can’t even

In the last 20 minutes or so, ABC gives us some actual dating. Derek and Taylor go on the date and get about 2 minutes of air time because literally nobody cares. Dean and Kristina hang out and we find out that he went with her to Kentucky during the 2 week shutdown. Now that we’re back in Paradise, Dean lets her know that he’s not really feeling it. Dean pulling a Dean. More on this to come.

Lastly, I want to touch on Amanda and Alex. These two were “vibing” as the kids say before the shutdown (which was like 12 hours). Now that we’re back, Alex is acting ultra clingy and Amanda can’t signal hard enough that she’s not interested. I mean, there are audible groans when Alex approaches her. Get a clue, dude.

Alex Amanda Episode 2 Bachelor in Paradise
“Please stop talking”
  • Check out our “Rosé over Roses” t-shirt on Amazon HERE
  • Check out our  Bachelor in Paradise Episode 1 Recap  HERE
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