In case you’ve been busy practicing your can-can and trying on costumes made entirely of feathers, ABC is running a weekly Bachelor Fantasy League. Join us here every week as we try to guess just how many women Arie will leave in tears.
Hello, Bachelor Nation! It’s the week before Hometowns, and that means we get the episode with all. The. Crying. Seriously, go watch the trailer.
See what we mean? This just further cements our faith in Sienne, Tia, and Kendall, all of whom seem to make it out of this week without smearing their makeup. Let’s see what this episode has in store, courtesy of TVGuide:
The pressure mounts as the crucial hometown dates loom, but first Arie and the remaining seven bachelorettes travel to beautiful Tuscany, Italy. High anxiety permeates the group when the women find out there will not be any rose ceremony. Becca K. gets the first one-on-one date and a romantic picnic where the couple will discover if they can rekindle their passionate connection. Meanwhile, an emotionally confused Jacqueline takes a big step and visits a surprised Arie in his hotel room.
No rose ceremony? What kind of black magic is this? That will make things interesting in the predictions below. Let’s get into it.
Real Bets Provided by ABC:
During their one-on-one date Arie and a bachelorette search for which of the following? Chocolate, Espresso, Italian Ice, Truffles
Analysis: In that video, we see a shot of Sienne and Arie walking through the woods with a local and his dogs. That’s not typically how one goes about searching for chocolate, espresso, or Italian ice.
TRUE or FALSE: Arie takes a moment for himself during a date with a bachelorette.
Analysis: During his one-on-one with Lauren, she confesses that she’s falling in love with Arie. Arie has been outside of the Bachelor universe for so long that he doesn’t recognize this as the empty, pro-forma phrase that is required of any serious Bachelor contestant looking to make it to hometowns. He thinks Lauren is actually falling for him. And he gets up from the table and walks away:
Bet: TRUE. So dramatic, that Arie!
Which of the following does Arie eat on one date and learn to make on another? Pizza, Tiramisu, Ricotta Cheese, Gelato
Analysis: Just stop for a bit and think about the most obvious choice. And then stop thinking, you’re done.
You think Arie, who took us past the Pizza Hut he used to work at in Scottsdale, is going to go to the Motherland and not grab a slice of ‘za? The man modeled his disposition on the Ninja Turtles!
Bet: Pizza, because Arie’s basic, ABC is basic, and all of us in the viewing audience are basic.
How many one-on-one dates does Arie have in Tuscany? 4, 3, 2, 1
Analysis: With no rose ceremony, this is a complicated question. We definitely see Becca, Lauren, and Sienne doing things that are intensive enough to require a solo date. Becca gets a solo drive around the countryside, Lauren has bike riding and that solo dinner al fresco, and Sienne is hunting truffles and later kissing at the top of a stairwell. But Bekah, Tia, Kendall, and Jacqueline don’t get as much screentime.
Doesn’t three seem like a good number here? For starters, three one-on-ones and a group date make for a packed episode, as last week showed. There’s the chance that Arie doesn’t give out a rose during one of the one-on-ones, leaving the more dramatic two roses for a group date. Three’s the right number here.
TRUE or FALSE: A bachelorette leaves without having a date with Arie while in Tuscany.
Analysis: While everyone else in that promo video is shown somewhere outside, Jacqueline is only seen in hotel rooms and hallways, and mostly in a crumpled pile of tears. Frankly, we were surprised when she made it past night one, and we were downright shocked that Arie gave her a rose last week.
Bet: TRUE. We hope she realizes that having a soon-to-be ex-boyfriend nicknamed “the kissing bandit” isn’t necessarily on track with a future as a PhD resarcher. It’s actually pretty embarrassing when you say it out loud.
Which bachelorette is wowed by an intimate Italian family dinner with Arie on a date?
Analysis: This has to happen during one of the 1:1 dates, and we clearly see Lauren and Arie eating dinner alone.
We’ll narrow it down to Becca and Sienne, then. Frankly we’re torn, but we’re going to give the edge to Becca.
Doesn’t that look like Becca and Arie brought groceries for dinner?
Fake but Fun Bets:
TRUE or FALSE: Krystal got off easy.
Analysis: Every season, our favorite part of the two-on-one date is when the losing contestant gets left wherever the date happened to be at the time, be it a swamp, an island beach, or the middle of a freaking glacier. Where did Krystal’s losing two-on-one date end?
A ballroom overlooking the Eiffel tower! Please. We are not shedding a single tear for her, even if we’re begrudgingly admiring just how dislikable she is.
Which of the women took the obligatory “Holding up the Leaning Tower” picture?
Analysis: Did anyone else watch Oliver KIMA’s video, “Instatravel-A Photogenic Mass Tourism Experience” this week? If not, do yourself a favor and check it out.
Anyway, the video got us thinking – if we found ourselves in Italy, would we be able to resist such a great, obvious opportunity? We’re pretty sure the answer is “no.” We would make and eat pizza in Italy, just like Arie.
Bet: All of them. It’s obligatory, after all.
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