Welcome back, Bachelor Nation! We’re down to the Final 7 and before the night is through, we’ll have our Final 4 Bachelorettes who will host a hometown date and inevitably disappoint their parents. I hope you’re all ready for a bunch of premature declarations of love as the women enter the home stretch! Andiamo!
We open up the week with Arie talking about how excited he is to be in Tuscany. Of note, he’s looking forward to wine and pasta. And thus ends Arie’s knowledge of Italian culture. Chris Harrison lets the women know that there will not be a rose ceremony this week – 3 dates and a group date. Becca K gets the first 1:1 and we’re off!
Becca K’s Picnic
The first date of the week begins with Arie picking Becca K up in what appears to be a vintage Fiat Spider. They walk around a small town in Tuscany where Arie tries to purchase bread, meats and cheeses form local vendors – in English. The locals have no idea what he’s saying as, you know, they speak Italian in Italy. In this moment, tell me you can’t see Arie speaking louder and louder to someone who is hard of hearing in an attempt to communicate.
Meanwhile, we get our first cut away of what appears to be our drama for the week; Jacqueline doubting she can be what Arie wants. I’m sure there will be more of this, so hang tight.
Back to the action with Becca K., Arie asks who he’ll meet in her hometown and it’s pretty clear (as if it wasn’t already) that we’re going to meet Becca’s family in Minnesota. He gives her a rose and lets her know that he’s falling for her. I love Arie wanting to make sure that he and Becca were moving in the right direction on this date, considering that they had been on a single date, this was their second, and then he was going to ask her dad to marry her. Like normal couples.
Jacqueline Wakes Up
Jacqueline shows up to Arie’s room to talk about all of the feelings she is having. She lets Arie know that the other women are ready to marry him but she is still unsure. Jacqueline still has 6 years of school,and is clearly conflicted. What she isn’t saying is that one of the feelings she is dealing with is regret for dating a guy named “the kissing bandit” – but we know that has to be part of it.
This was one of those rare “real” moments in the show. We have a lot of respect for the Bachelors and Bachelorettes who allow themselves to share actual feelings. Unfortunately it’s also a sure-fire way to fly home on a coach flight with multiple connections. Forgetting about this being the end of her time on the season, what a normal person with rational thoughts about her feelings. Can we introduce her to Peter? I bet Wisconsin has plenty of PhD options.
Lauren B and the “Italian” date in Italy
Lauren B and Arie have the next 1:1 and it opens up with Lauren letting us know that everything here is “so Italian”. OMG seriously? The couple walks around town and picks up gelato along with some pizza. All the while, Arie is trying to speak Italian which is an unmitigated disaster. Arie’s Italian was hard to listen to but not as much as him saying “I love this.” roughly 6 million times. It’s clearly his compensation for not loving the women.
Since we’re international, we have our obligatory impromptu soccer game with some local children. As a parent, I can not imagine my kids playing a game with a foreign reality TV star and not immediately calling the police.
In the evening portion of the date, Lauren tells Arie that she’s falling for him which forces Arie to step away to gather himself. When he comes back, it seems like he may be sending her home but in a surprise move, Arie lets her know that he’s “falling deeply in love with [her]”. Arie has officially gone “full Higgins” on this season after this proclamation along with telling Becca K that he’s also “falling for her”. Lauren B gets a rose but I’m super nervous for Arie having seen this play out (poorly) for Ben.
Nobody Out-Pizzas the Hut!
The last 1:1 of the week is with Seinne. The date begins with the couple searching for truffles in the Italian wilderness with a guide and his dogs. After finding some truffles, they are invited back for a family meal at the guide’s home. What happens next has to be the greatest line in Bachelor history. While making pizza with two of the Italian women, Arie lets them know that “[he] used to work at a pizza place”. To be super clear, he just bragged about his career at Pizza Hut to actual Italians.
The evening portion of the date takes about 2 minutes because Arie is clearly not feeling things with Seinne. He sends her home and honestly there was nothing memorable about this date beyond Arie’s love of personal pan pizzas. Side note, I guarantee that Arie just had his parents sign off on his “Book It” sheet without his actually having to read.
The Last Group Date
The last date of the week is with Kendall, Bekah M and Tia. The foursome is going to spend the day at an estate and we find out that Tia has beef with Bekah, again because she’s young. The funny part about all of this is that Tia thinks that Bekah is too young at 22 while her and Kendall are 26 (still 10+ years younger than Arie).
While Kendall is with Arie, Tia seizes the opportunity to let Bekah know that she told Arie that she questioned her readiness for marriage. Bekah bursts into tears but is quickly comforted. Oye, this is getting old but fine, whatever. The first part of the date comes to a close when Arie gives Kendall the first of two roses effectively turning the evening into a 2:1. The moment Tia called out Bekah, the date was always going to end with those two.
The date concludes with some final chats with each of the women and the whole time I can’t believe that this is even a question for Arie. I mean, I get it, ABC needs to fill 2 hours but was there ever a world where Bekah gets a rose over ABC making jokes about Arie visiting Weiner, Arkansas? The answer is a resounding “no”, we’re off to meet Tia’s family (and I’m sure Raven) while Bekah rides off hopefully to Sephora to pick up some waterproof mascara. We’ll see you next week!
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