Welcome back, Bachelorette Nation! Am I going crazy or is this season off to a running start? If I’m being honest Becca has just been ok but the story lines with the guys along with some silly dates has made the first part of this season really fun to watch. Here’s to hoping the trend continues – if anything, we’re in store for some super awkward moments as Colton is confronted with a former flame and has to show he’s there for the #rightreasons.
We get it, you’re here for the #rightreasons
Matt: We start off the week with a group date and a visit from a bunch of Becca’s old friends (namely Tia who “dated” Colton + 5 other women to pile on in the most scripted way possible). Colton wants to move on from the Tia conversation so what does he get? Tia in the flesh. This whole date had a lot of potential but it’s so unbelievably forced that I’m just waiting for it to end. I can’t follow the logic that Colton came on the “The Bachelorette” because he thought it may be Tia, but was dating Tia…I’m so confused and I sort of don’t care about this at all.
Ryan: I’m also fuzzy on the details of how seriously you can be “dating” someone, for only a couple months, when both of you are angling to get onto a reality dating show in the future. But it was certainly awkward for Colton to have his fingernails painted in front of his ex- and current “girlfriends.” But come on, look at his dimples! Colton is sticking around for a while.
Matt: Without a doubt. #swoon
Ryan: Oof, Matt, don’t ever make me write a love song for a person I’ve only just met. There are only so many words that rhyme with rose and driveway, after all. Chris got surprisingly deep about his parents’ relationship (even though that wasn’t the assignment), and it almost made me forget just how much the internet thinks he looks like Chandler’s crazy roommate Eddie (he doesn’t).
Matt: Ok, interesting date with Chris I guess – love the producers exposing those deep wounds of course, but was no one available with a hit from the last three decades? What are the odds Chris had annnnny idea who Richard Marx was? There’s no freakin’ way.
The David Incident
Matt: We finally find out what happened to summon an ambulance to the mansion. Thanks to some creative editing, we initially are led to believe that Jordan pulled a Jeff Gillooly on David. What really happened? Homeboy fell out of his bunk bed and landed on his face! Jordan putting a safety rail on his bed was pretty silly.
Ryan: I’m also not terribly in on the feud between David and Jordan. Jordan’s 4,000 Tinder matches is just as preposterously high as you want it to be for a man this narcissistically shallow and un-self-aware. And nobody likes the guy who turns into the Right Reasons Warrior, so David’s almost lucky that he faceplanted on the mansion tile. It probably bought him a couple weeks. At least long enough for a two-on-one against Jordan (sigh).
Matt: Sidebar: It would be great if ABC didn’t telegraph the 2:1 to us for 3 weeks. It’s just not exciting by the time it happens (and the outcome is almost always obvious). We get it, they don’t like each other.
A Football Date with an NFL Player
Matt: I’d say this was some of the better group date action we’ve seen. Clay was playing and obviously great but lots of decent play all around. What totally sucks is Clay getting hurt and potentially hurt his chances to getting signed this off season. He better either win or get to be the next Bachelor if he goes unsigned. Do you think he was the quarterback for the first 90% of the game to legitimately avoid injury? Good thing she gave him that f’in date rose!
Ryan: Poor Clay. I’ll get to him soon enough, but let’s talk cash. We talk a lot about the budget for the show – how much can they spend on a date, whether they’re wasting their money on an unworthy competitor, and just how many catamarans they’re allowed to schedule in their tropical locales. But per episode, I have to think that this week’s two ambulance visits pushed the limit of what the ABC overlords allow. Next week’s dates will probably include playing a giant game of hide and seek without leaving the mansion.
Matt: You hear about athletes insuring their bodies, do we think ABC had to take out a policy on Clay? Those premiums are about to go through the roof.
The Cocktail Party
Ryan: Seriously, how terrible is it that an unsigned free agent injured himself to the point of needing surgery while playing in a silly pickup game on a reality dating show? Clay made the right choice in handing back his rose and opting for the future of his career. He wasn’t getting Becca’s final rose, so he merely avoided getting his big, soft heart broken at some point later in the season. Wherever he lands, I’ll be rooting for him next season.
Matt: I mean, this show is complete nonsense and isn’t always a “good look” for those who go on it, but this is actually awful. Clay clearly woke up from his fugue state when he heard he had to have surgery and made the right choice. I really liked Clay but I agree – it was only a matter of time before he left with a broken heart. Good luck next season, Clay! We didn’t get a rose ceremony, so we’ll see the rest of the men next Monday!
- Catch up with our Week 2 Recap HERE
- Check out our “Right Reasons” t-shirt on Amazon HERE
- Be sure to join us for live BachChat and to follow along on Facebook and Twitter!
- Follow us on Instagram for all your Bachelor meme needs